This is Part #3 of a 4 part series on my reason to quit smoking weed.
As seen in Part 1, and Part 2 I believe that it is a great idea to create an inventory of all of the reasons that I want to quit smoking weed. This servers 2 purposes: To clarify the negative effects of marijuana addiction in my life, and to use as a reference guide when I crave smoking pot, and think about relapsing.
The Negative Effects of Marijuana on my Relationships:
Friendships: Most of the people I associate are stoners, or smoke pot sometimes. Because so much of my life is lived whilst stoned, it is easiest to associate with people that enable me to get high. I also turn down or spoil friendships because I don’t call people back or check my messages on a regular basis. Being stoned is a comfort bubble, as long as you exist within that bubble, the rest of the world can wait. Marijuana is the common theme of most of my friendships, very few get deeper than that.
Commitments: Because weed effects my short term memory so much, I am often late or forget about commitments that I should honor. I also do not like to commit to any regular or scheduled activity, because it may interfere with my ability to smoke pot and get high.
Girlfriends: I went through a period of hiding the fact that I smoked weed from my girlfriends. It always backfired. Every relationship I have had or attempted has been negatively affected by my smoking. For example, multiple times I have left a date early to go smoke pot alone, or have my mind on getting high rather than paying attention to the person I am with. I can also be very quiet and introverted while high on marijuana, so it makes it difficult to maintain conversations, sometimes even eye contact. Basically, I resent that a girlfriend interferes with my unrestricted access to smoking marijuana, and the mental and emotional state of being high.
Family: I am lucky to have a family that does not demonize marijuana. They are unaware of the extent of my addiction and I feel ashamed of it. I always thought that there were great expectations for me (from both family and myself) that haven’t been met because of my chronic marijuana addiction.
Conversation: I consider myself to be a well-spoken articulate person – when sober. Sometimes my memory gets so bad I forget what I was saying, the word I wanted to say, or I mispronounce a word. If I am itching for weed, my mind is elsewhere and I may space out and not pay attention to the other half of the conversation. I am not as sharp, while high, as I am when sober.
Social Anxiety and Paranoia: When I am in public and stoned, I think I hear people talking about me and laughing at me sometimes. Even though I know this not to be the case, I get quite anxious and embarrassed. I struggle to make eye contact with people when I am baked, and am more likely to introvert myself and my thoughts, body language, and actions. I would never go and chat up a group of girls while stoned – I could do it sober far more easily. I also get anxious about driving, about smelling like pot around coworkers and the general public. I also worry about coworkers, friends, and family knowing about how bad I crave pot, and how much of a stoner I am. No 6 year old says “I want to grow up to be pothead”.
See Also
Part 1 Physical Reasons to Quit Marijuana
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My boyfriend has been smoking it most of his life, about 35+ years and most of those years smoking hardcore. When I say hardcore, it is because I see him smoke about at least 15 joints a day by himself just like cigarettes. My house stinks like skunk half the time, our truck. I’m so sick of it. He had a stroke just after I met him when he was 45 and quit for a couple months after. Was in the hospital again a few months ago because he couldn’t breathe. Got out, and started smoking again right away. Tonight I sad on the opposite couch crying because I felt once again ignored, and wishing for conversation as he stared at the tv. He didn’t even notice me crying or if he did, didn’t bother saying anything. I’m so lonely with him, and when we talk, I have to follow him around, and have a hard time keeping his attention. I use to complain so much because I would never get eye contact when we talked. After he had his stroke he lost total interest in sex/intimacy and we haven’t had that for a few years now. I don’t smoke dope at all, and I don’t know how I ended up in this relationship. I’m 17 years younger than him too, and so this is sad. I have been trying to get him to move out and leave, but he won’t. I’m going to get him too for sure soon, I might have to call the cops though. Anyways, it is a a sad life. I care for him, but what a shitty relationship living with a pothead gives you. Yesterday was our sixth year anniversary of being together. He forgot of course, and I didn’t bother telling him because he shows no interest in me anyways. I think pot can be okay if it is used socially, but definitely not everyday, all day. He wakes up each day, takes his six or so blood pressure pills and then washes it down with a big fat joint. The first joint of the day (he gets up early) is always the worst, especially when I like sleeping in on weekends, because he hacks so hard I’m sure the neighbors hear and get woken up too. He smokes on the deck not in my house, but still. For an older man who always had a good job, he had nothing when I met him. I helped him get a truck, and I bought my house in my name only because our relationship is so unstable because of the dope. He’s been laid off for 5 months now, and he doesn’t seem to want to work even though he’s been offered one.
My friends have told me, and remind me, that the next stroke could mean that I am stuck taking care of him both physically and financially. I would too, I know that. There are so many hard things, like his emotional moody outbursts often directed at me, his constant lying about the smallest things that he thinks is funny. I have gained so much weight because he constantly craves sugar and brings it into our house, and he thinks feeding me all the time is so kind of him. It seems like it’s the only way he thinks of being romantic and loving. Then there’s all the creepy potheads he hangs out with, and the fact that we have no friends together. I could go on and on.
I know he loves me, and I love him, but I know his love for dope is stronger and I want to be happy and maybe a man that will care enough about me to marry me someday. I just blew my last few good years of maybe having a kid again with an older man who has no interest in marriage, kids, or anything really. I won’t give another six years, that much I know.
If there are woman in the same boat as me, feel free to share back. I know I have to leave him, I just need more motivation apparently and knowing that others go through similar shit, would help me.
Forgot to mention…
He’s a dealer too, has been on and off for years and does it make money at times. I’m risking my house getting busted, my reputation, my job, not willingly, but I am allowing him to bring ounces in and out of my house. I keep giving him shit, but he never listens. How stupid am I? I have a professional job and make a good living, and if my house got busted, I heard they can trash it looking for the drugs, and I’m sure I’d get fired in a heartbeat because they announce your names in the paper here. I could cry and plead that I had nothing to do with it, but that wouldn’t help me at all, because the house is in my name and I allowed it.
Yup, you men (or woman) out there that are potheads, IF you are lucky enough to have woman (or man) in your life that tries so hard to stick by you….think about the affects that high has on those you say you love. Sit down when you are not stoned, and ask them to describe the affects your drug use has on them. If you really love them, you will hear them and want to make positive changes.
I have given up on my man, my relationship, and wasted years for nothing. There’s no hope for my man, but I sure hope there is a better chance for others out there.
wow… it’s so refreshing to know that i’m not the only one out there going through this… i’ve been a pot smoker for almost 17 years… since i was 16… and a heavy, every day pot smoker for about at least the past 10 years or so… i let weed so far into my life that i’ve been a weed grower for the past 7 years… thus insuring that i’ve always got some bud. i’ve tried to quit numerous times over the years but so far to no avail. i’m smart, come from a good family, have a creative mind and used to be such an extrovert… but for the past few years i just seem to be shriveling up inside… i am in such a different place from all my friends who have been nurturing relationships both personal and professional. i’m finding myself staring down a fast approaching 33… still haven’t finished college… still haven’t had a meaningful relationship that lasted more than a couple months… no savings… few true and actual friendships… just weed. i really want to find the inspiration in all the other stories on here to finally lift myself out of this self-imposed exile from society and to find the strength that i need to move away from a life of criminal activity whose main intent is to keep my high… i’m so much better than this…….. so much better.
This site has really helped me understand the mentality of a pot addict. I never realised there was so much involved. I smoked pot pretty heavily for about 3 years, almost every day. Ok so every day for the last year of that. It was always available and i had that “why not” attittude. My husband has been an addict for close to 20 years. Smoking up to 5 or more joints a day. At first it was something we did together as a way of relaxing or just snuggling up. Later it was all we ever really did together. But eventually i noticed how it was affecting our relationship and our finances. I couldnt see how bad our problems were because i was high all the time too. So i decided to quit about a year ago. Luckily it was very easy for me to do so, as i was not addicted. Once every few months i still take a drag if i happen to be extra stressed out, but thats about it. I didnt push him to quit because i thought he might eventually realize what he needs to do in order to fix the problems in his life, and actually start living. Unfortunately it never happened. He never “woke up” as i thought he would. I have left him in order to be allowed to live my own life and not be codependent. One of the hardest decisions ive ever had to make. He’s still in denial about how bad his addiction is and why i really left. I feel that he has chosen weed over me, although i feel guilty for thinking that because i really dont think he can make a real choice since he’s always high. I still love him so much, but i cant make the changes for him. Thats something he will have to come to terms with. Im thinking about email him this website to look over, but if he’s not ready to quit he probably wont even bother reading it considering the name of the site. His family has been pushing him to quit for YEARS but i think it just puts him further in denial. I miss my husband. I hate to let him go.
Do i have a chance in hell of helping him wake up?
weed leads to some bad routes especially meeting shady dark grimey people who steal your shit or try to fight you thats another reason to quit
I have a friend who smokes weed, and i think the worst part about it is that it is a crutch for him. He uses it to avoid problems instead of facing them head on and growing stronger through the trials. But the problem is that weed doesn’t SOLVE problems. It’s just like taking tons and tons of pain killer but never addressing the wound, and who feels better from that? Rather, face the trial and overcome that pain by pulling through it, and there are so many people out there who want to help you, counselors and parents and friends and teachers. So many times my friend has told me to try drugs or invited me to parties, but i don’t go because i see how addicting the high can be, how much it can ruin the simple, peaceful and content experience of life, and the strong, laboring toil of overcoming trials. I told him “The bigger the challenge, the more glory in surmounting it.”
I am an ardent Christian and i strongly believe in God’s love for every individual (and believe me, ive had my fair share of crap to get in Gods face about his “love” that he supposed to have for me). But i will be praying very hard for all of you and your relationships, because they are so important to God, every one of them. Please pray for my friend. I will be visiting this website often to be getting new names for prayers.
indeed… exact same story here.
the love of my life.. or so i thought. we split over a year ago as he started to completely act out. in addition to his daily pot use, near the end he then started staying out all nite, using harder drugs. this is a 55 yr old man! when this started happening, i confronted him. he said “i need to do this! i have to process my divorce and this is how i do that…” (he had separated that year from a 20 yr. marriage.)
anyway, after the harder drugs came into the picture and the staying out, i left. i respect myself more than that. we had been together almost a year.
then, over a year later, he came back. said all of his mess was behind him, and he realized i was truly the love of his life (and i thought him mine, we had magic together.) but i also noticed he seemed incredibly baked. come to find out he is smoking some serious **** every day, alot, as well as the occasional harder drug. when i softly confronted/asked about this the other nite (only recently having started seeing him again) he got really indignant, defensive, and said “i will not have any girlfriend tell me when i can and can’t do drugs! i don’t have a problem!” yada yada. i didn’t even know about the harder stuff until that phone call. i also i realized in that moment in the couple of weeks we had started things over, i’d only seen him baked. his perceptions are altered. sometimes when i wanted to believe he was being deep, he was simply baked with a a skewed sense of reality.
i believe the pot has completely changed this man. i think it too altered his judgement to use harder drugs, as he really is baked.
needless to say, i gave him the boot. i realized it was all along the drugs, mainly the pot, completely altering reality.
sad sad sad. he chose the dope over a woman he claims to love more than any woman he’d ever known, including his ex-wife of 20 yrs. and the saddest thing is? i think he really means it.
but he still chose the pot.
so very sad. daily pot use DOES affect people, drastically. occasional toke, i could care less. baked every day? you have no idea, truly, who you are talking to or who this person really is… it’s chaos.
God Bless everyone, and good luck… and thank you for letting me share.
I ahve been smoking for about 2yrs. on a daily basis. My first joint was horrible. It was crypt and left me high for 3 days. I told myself thats not the lifestyle that I want. I didnt like the way it made me feel. I then met a guy friend who smoked all the time. We started dating and before you know it I was purchasing weed and smoking more than once a day. Before smoking I was never much of a social person, and smoking doesnt help. What weed does for me is when I am doing nothing or not out somewhere, the “high” makes me feel like I’m doing something, keeps me occupied. I dont consider myself addicted, but subcons. I think I am…hanging around my boyfriend and his friend ( who smokes heavily) I sometimes feel like I’m being suckered into this addiction. When I dont smoke it really doesnt bother me..I feel normal …I read a lot of material about effects of smoking, hoping it will instill enough fear in me to stop. I think about childbirth (b/c i have no children, future,etc. ) i have no real motivation for smoking ..it just relaxes me after a hyped day or day at work..
I’m in my mid twenties and can relate to a lot of what is being mentioned on this site. I have vaporized or smoked pot almost every single day for the past 6 years and somewhat daily for about 2-3 years prior to that. I lost a sibling to cancer about 2 years ago and it seems my intake only increased because of that. I experienced major depression which I still battle on and off along with my MJ addiction. For so long I wanted to believe that MJ truly wasn’t addictive and that it was just me. Then I realized I was losing who I was. I forgot who I used to be and what happiness was. I used MJ as my crutch and really it was holding me down and causing some of the problems. I still advocate legalization of pot for medical purposes nationwide because I saw first hand how it helped my brother. However, I found that pot is just like anything else in that if you indulge too much, there’s going to be consequences. Vaping every day also made me feel very nostalgic and missing the older “good” times. It was hard to make any kind of future when I was living in the past. All my old closest friends were getting college degrees and making money and moving and just living their lives. Here I was, a lazy, unemployed, unmotivated, do nothing but vaporize bud and play video games, and felt on the verge of death after a while. I finally decided to give it up cold turkey one day and stashed all things pot related away so I couldn’t get to them. I began to excercise again, eat right, gain interest in things I used to do, have the ability to go out in public again, etc. Now a part of me looks to the future and asks if I’ll ever try MJ again and it’s hard to tell. Would I slip back to my old ways? Will I be able to control it? Why is it so easy for some people and harder for others? It’s just nice to see that I’m not alone in this fight. Don’t give up everyone…we can beat this!
I smoked weed for the last 3 years. It started out as a weekly thing I did with my friends. After a while, I was smoking alone, but only on occasion. Low and behold it got to the point where I was smoking as much as I could. If I had a free day to myself I was high the entire time.
I’ve been sober for 1 month now. Its difficult, to say the least. Most days are fine, but 2 or 3 days a week I feel real temptation to go out and buy some. I’m praying that the desire to smoke goes away completely, but from what I hear, that might take a while, if at all.
The hardest part is that I have 3 good friends who smoke a lot, and I have come to secretly resent them for it. I am completely jealous that their life affords them the opportunity to smoke and still be productive, while mine does not. On the other hand, I have witnessed firsthand how each of them have been negatively affected by pot in one way or another. Trying to tell them that pot is a problem seems like a lost cause.
It’s hard to wrestle with what I know I should do and what I want to do because its easier. I feel like putting a giant tattoo on my arm that just says “DONT SMOKE WEED YOU IDIOT” so that if I did smoke weed I’d be an even bigger idiot for having the tat. Anyone know any online forums for people dealing with marijuana addiction?
Finally, what I hate more than anything is the COUNTLESS people who post (other than this site, thankfully) about how great weed is. Even in public, like at a concert, if weed is mentioned you’ll hear a group of people cheer. All of these things make me so pissed because I cant smoke it!
All in all, I know in the deepest part of my heart that I can not smoke marijuana. And so I dont. Here’s to a long life of sobriety.
Hello Everyone
I am married to a man who has been smoking weed since he was at secondary school. We have been together for 20 years.
I fell in love with this man because I found his pot smoking glamorous and did not fully appreciate the negative side of regular pot smoking.
I now understand that his regular weed smoking habit causes terrible mood swings; the morning after a heavy night skinning up is usually quite entertaining.
My family and I have been in the firing line many times when he erupts into a bad tempered paranoid monster. In fact only yesterday he loudly accused my 11 year old son of stealing in the supermarket. My son was extremely upset and embarrassed. On other occasions he has picked arguments with me in public for bizarre reasons.
I have really tried to make him see that he behaves irrationally and cruelly sometimes and that it is affecting our family. I don’t want to live like this and am afraid of how it affect my 11 and 9 year old children.
I know he is not a bad person but this is my life too and although he has tried to give it up before he always goes back. The longest he has not smoked is probably 2 weeks.
He has made it clear to me over the years that The Weed is his number one priority, I’m really beginning to feel that I should allow him to carry on un-harassed by his silly wife it that’s how he really feels.
My priority is my family.
How many times must I come down this same road?
oh man. I just decided to quit, starting today. I am so anxious already. I chose this route mainly due to school, I am taking some very challenging classes this semester and I know that weed hinders my academic performance. My husband and I are both addicts, and he has told me that he is going to be supportive and not smoke around me- I knew better than to propose he quit with me. Smokng has never affected me negatively, at least not to the point where I have cared in the past…but now… I realize how different I have become since I began smoking five years ago. I experience just what everyone else has said about social anxiety, paranoia, etc. I used to be so charismatic and outgoing, and now I feel like I have lost all conviction. I am a good mother and a good student, but I don’t feel like me. It’s like…when I look at myself in the mirror I see a blank page and all I want to do is get high and get by. I have goals and dreams and aspirations, but I know I will never achieve them, if I continue to smoke the way I do. But it is how my husband and I met, it is what we do together the most, it is how we relax with eachother, and I am so worried that as I ascend on this journey to quit smoking pot that I will in turn loose him. I fear that. I fear not having weed as an escape from reality and a crutch to get me through everyday, and I suppose it is comforting to know I am not alone.
I appreciate this site a lot…a dose of healthy reality. I have been completely free of weed for a year (in one week…woohoo!!). Wow, what a difference! It was hard at first, but not too bad because I had quit for months at a time many times throughout my 12 year smoking experience. I started in college, just at parties. Thenlater, my husband smoked alot…I couldn’t keep up. It was a roller coaster…tons of smoking all day everyday, avoidance of reality and responsibilities, communication etc, followed by him panicking and stressing over trying to score again. So much money that should have been spent on our children went to fuel that life. Ugh. I used it to calm anxiety (much of which was actually caused by the smoking lifestyle and the resulting relationships I was having), and to numb my overwhelming feelings. I became so wrapped up in that world that my friends were mostly pot heads and at one point my next partner/ boyfriend grew and sold a housefull with me and other friends helping to trim the plants at harvest time. He didn’t have to worry about scoring, he just grew his own. And there was so much deceit about it all…awfully stressful and dark. I remember one time feeling so wracked with guilt and paranoia that I just knew the cops were about to bust in any second. Why was I risking myself and my children’s future like this, I thought, and why aren’t any of the other people here concerned?! Well low and behold, 4 months after I told myself never again and stopped helping, the house got raided and my boyfriend hauled off to jail. Even though I had broken up with and moved away from him months before, I allowed myself to get sucked back in and I bailed him out of jail! I was still smoking at the time and had no backbone or clarity…but I did still have a conscience…I knew I wanted a better life. Our break up 7 months later was difficult and devastating and I self-medicated for another year, knowing that every hit only prolonged the feeling of pain. I started seeing a counselor every week (donation based rates), started exercising more and started Alanon meetings…AND stayed away from my ex and other people who smoke all day. I am happy to report that although I still have an occasional craving if I see a roach or smell my neighbors skunk harvest, I am over it! I never want to go back to that lifestyle again. It was killing me, my soul and my will to live and love life. One day at a time.
Well, I’m on this site because I’m tired of knowing I’m controlled by this drug. I had smoked occassionally in my early 20s but then stopped when I met and married the father of my children 16 years ago – we stayed married for 8 years and during that time, I never thought about weed once. About 4 years ago, as a single mom, I met a guy and started dating. It was on our second date that he told me he smokes and asked me if I would. I was so, so nervous about trying again, not knowing how it would affect me since it had been so long, but I gave in. Throughout the next few months, he’d leave me with a joint or two and before you know it, I was smoking every week. Now, 4 years later, and for the last 2 or 3 years, I’ve been smoking a bowl almost every day.
I hate this dirty habit!! I hate how it makes my mouth taste; how it makes my fingers smell; how it makes me feel weak, not strong; how it makes me feel lazy and tired; and most importantly, how it makes me feel like a hypocrite in front of my teenage son (who found my stash several months ago and told me he’s known or suspected for a couple years). That latter statement makes me cry. I’ve always been a good mom – I make a great living and have always provided my children with a nice home in a great school district and all the “things” they feel they need, so this weed smoking has been something I’ve tried to keep secret – I’m not of the thinking that you should be open about the habit . I’ve always told myself, “Well, if he ever finds out, it’s cool – I’ll just quit.” Now, 4 months after talking with him about what he found, I sit here still an addict. I’m just more “careful” about hiding the stash, chewing gum, using scented hand lotion… it’s exhausting. I’ve tried to quit so many times but then allow the craving to take over…to take “control” of me, again making me feel weak. I get a little stash and tell myself, “OK, this time I’m really going to do it – I’m really going to only smoke on the weekends. I don’t have to smoke every day.” But I can’t do it. If it’s in the house, I’m going to smoke it.
To make matters worse, I got remarried two years ago and introduced him to weed. We smoked together a lot, and it really had a negative affect on our relationship, mainly because of the mood swings and grumpiness while coming down. He moved out a few months ago, and we’re going through a divorce. I know it’s mainly due to pot and what it’s done to me.
I hate this. I hate that I went for so many years without giving this drug a single thought. I hate “Gary” for introducing me to it again. I hate myself for allowing him to, and for allowing myself to continue with this knowing what it’s doing to me. I need help.
dude, man….think about it its not expiensive at all, man kind was bestod upon to utilize plants ever since the dawn of civilization, through the years human kind started to cultivate its natrual resorces among thier surroundings. Through doing this we have gained knowlede of these plants uses. weve learned which is poisionus and which plant is healthy,What plant is food and what plant is medicine.
Cannibis Sativa Or Marijuana, Just happens to be a natrual plant that grows on planet earth , eventually man was ment to use this plant in some way, which is simply only natrual. who are we to argue that marijuana is bad ?, Who are we to say that earth is wrong ? Who are we to Put a price on something that grows around you ?
Its not the Marijuana ,,,Its the money, As the cliche saying goes money is the root of all evil I Believe its the most true statement to ever leave someones lips. Think about how it affects us today, were slaves to just a simple number, a bank note that is just a meir Piece of cotton in relativity. this piece of cotton is responsible for murders, wars,prostution,slavery,addictions exe. Alchohol/nicotine, and now over 90 % of the modern population working 75 % of thier entire lives in most likely a job that they dont like. Weve just simply forgotten whats important in life with too many distractions that money has produced . I believe In all reality the native americans Had it right. you didnt see them fighting over oil or killing one another over money. They all knew what was important in life , Eating, breeding , and simply living.
What im getting at is that we all just need to forget money and be more self sufficient. Grow your own weed if you enjoy it so much. obviously it wouldnt be put on this earth if mankind wasnt supposed to discover and find a use for it.
It does help alot of people in some way and so far for nearly 40000 years there hasnt been one document that says marijuana has killed anyone.
So Grow your own and stop wasting money on things that are free just because its convienient . youve worked hard for that little green piece of cotton , Dont waste it on a plant go buy a car that youll have to pay taxes on that destroys the ozone and insurance so you can drive to your boring job for more green cotton so you can pay for your house and owe the banks that not only screw the public but also support our governments econemy they/we can pay to have our prisions stocked up ,our wars,ciggarettes,and alchohol.
Now does it seem that human kind is right ?
you think about it ,,,,, mean while im gonna sit back and enjoy this joint that nature has humbly provided for me and watch the world pass me by as i gaze in simple enjoyment and watch the rat race for the allmighty dollar.
This is a true story. Pot and it’s “pleasant” effects are a pack of lies.
My state I live in recently legalized the stuff for medicinal purposes for it’s pain killing effects.
I had seriously hurt my back and 5 discs where injured. I was smoking pot and my back would hurt, thinking it was all part of the injury. I also would have my teeth clenched all of the time. Not so much from the pain, just a “habit”. I was going to physical therapy and working hard trying to get back into good health. I ran out of pot and thought, “oh my God!!!, what now?…well, after three days after running out of pot, the pain in my back started to subside. After 3 weeks… I swear, i could sit properly, stand properly, walk properly…all the while smoking pot thinking that the pain was the herniated discs! it obvious to me now, that the effects of pot directly effected the nerves in my body, specifically in my back! I did hurt my back…the pot continued the pain cycle..
Now, I am exercising again and running 5 miles everyday.
I know there are pot smokers out there thinking, “Yeah, right!!”
Well I am pain free. The level of tension that was forcing me to clench my teeth had left me, and i feel great. My blood pressure was always on the high side..hmmmfff! Now, it’s low!
The government want to legalize pot to generate revenue, not help the population with it’s pain relieving properties! There are no real benefits realized from pot other than somebody making money on idiots like me!
Don’t be part of this crap! I want you to think aout one thing:
WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT DOPE?
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