This is Part #3 of a 4 part series on my reason to quit smoking weed.
As seen in Part 1, and Part 2 I believe that it is a great idea to create an inventory of all of the reasons that I want to quit smoking weed. This servers 2 purposes: To clarify the negative effects of marijuana addiction in my life, and to use as a reference guide when I crave smoking pot, and think about relapsing.
The Negative Effects of Marijuana on my Relationships:
Friendships: Most of the people I associate are stoners, or smoke pot sometimes. Because so much of my life is lived whilst stoned, it is easiest to associate with people that enable me to get high. I also turn down or spoil friendships because I don’t call people back or check my messages on a regular basis. Being stoned is a comfort bubble, as long as you exist within that bubble, the rest of the world can wait. Marijuana is the common theme of most of my friendships, very few get deeper than that.
Commitments: Because weed effects my short term memory so much, I am often late or forget about commitments that I should honor. I also do not like to commit to any regular or scheduled activity, because it may interfere with my ability to smoke pot and get high.
Girlfriends: I went through a period of hiding the fact that I smoked weed from my girlfriends. It always backfired. Every relationship I have had or attempted has been negatively affected by my smoking. For example, multiple times I have left a date early to go smoke pot alone, or have my mind on getting high rather than paying attention to the person I am with. I can also be very quiet and introverted while high on marijuana, so it makes it difficult to maintain conversations, sometimes even eye contact. Basically, I resent that a girlfriend interferes with my unrestricted access to smoking marijuana, and the mental and emotional state of being high.
Family: I am lucky to have a family that does not demonize marijuana. They are unaware of the extent of my addiction and I feel ashamed of it. I always thought that there were great expectations for me (from both family and myself) that haven’t been met because of my chronic marijuana addiction.
Conversation: I consider myself to be a well-spoken articulate person – when sober. Sometimes my memory gets so bad I forget what I was saying, the word I wanted to say, or I mispronounce a word. If I am itching for weed, my mind is elsewhere and I may space out and not pay attention to the other half of the conversation. I am not as sharp, while high, as I am when sober.
Social Anxiety and Paranoia: When I am in public and stoned, I think I hear people talking about me and laughing at me sometimes. Even though I know this not to be the case, I get quite anxious and embarrassed. I struggle to make eye contact with people when I am baked, and am more likely to introvert myself and my thoughts, body language, and actions. I would never go and chat up a group of girls while stoned – I could do it sober far more easily. I also get anxious about driving, about smelling like pot around coworkers and the general public. I also worry about coworkers, friends, and family knowing about how bad I crave pot, and how much of a stoner I am. No 6 year old says “I want to grow up to be pothead”.
See Also
Part 1 Physical Reasons to Quit Marijuana
Part 2 Psychological Reasons to Quit Marijuana
Part 4 Financial Reasons to Quit Marijuana
Loading ...
{ 110 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
my 2 yr relationship ended this summer although she loved me and iI loved her she left me because i wouldnt smoke with her and she moved in with somebody that would smoke with her.when we were together it was hard she would come to visit me but go to the neighbors to smoke,or stay over with plans to do things on the weekend but when the weekend came shed start smoking in the morning and cancel the plans saying next weekend,it was a two yr. battle and i’m glad its over
Its New Years Eve 2011 and im sat at home on my own preparing for a night of sitting in front of the TV playing PS3 and getting lean, is this what I want??? Honestly it isnt, id much rather be out socialising and having fun, meeting new people and generaly enjoying myself. Instead of that ive just rolled a joint ready to smoke after writing this post.
The truth is I love weed so much and smoking it makes me feel great (in the short term) but ultimatley its at a massive sacrifice and im now at a cross roads as to where to turn.
Im 28 years old and like most of the posts ive read on here from guys, im single with no children. Ive smoked weed daily for the last 10 years, only giving up once for 2 months.
About 3 years ago on my 25th birthday to be exact, I sat in front of my PC, joint in hand and just felt utterley depressed. As if by miracle I started chatting to a girl I worked with (id always thought this girl was amazing). We had a long chat and I remember turning off my PC with a massive smile on my face. Over the course of the next 6 months we saw each other all the time, would chat for hours on thep hone and eventually we started going out properly. During this 6 months she knew I smoked weed however id always play it down and say it was only when I was with my friends and didnt smoke all the time. As things started to get serious I knew I had to make a choice, this girl or weed. The decision was easy for me and the girl won hands down everytime. It was strange as id wanted to stop smoking weed for a while but was so scared and the odd time id ran out of weed id sat up wide awake all night. Maybe I was lucky but when I did stop smoking i didnt really get cold swaets or the shakes or feeling light headed. My biggest problem was insomnia but I bought some sleeping tablets and to be honest id say after 3 days I was fine. I managed to last 2 months of not smoking it and although I missed it, I never felt tempted, this girl meant too much to me. That leads us to one fateful night when we had an argument over something silly and trivial. I left her house jumped in the car and the 1st thing I thought was weed. The reason I gave myself was Id only gave up weed for this girl and if she was going to be like that then I was going to smoke weed. I bought a 10 bag, rolled a joint, smoked about 3 drags and felt so stoned, it was like I’d had my 1st joint. We made up the next day and everything was fine but id cracked and smoked a joint. From then on it started again!! Id only smoke at weekends and then every couple of days. She hated weed with a passion but I guess she loved me so much that she put up with it for me. I was smoking nowhere near as much as I used to just 1 joint of an evening but she didnt like it still. We then decided to move in together. I agreed to before we did i wouldnt smoke weed in the week and ony at weekends which I did, however that only lasted about a month. After that id ask if could just have a little joint of an evening in the week. Again as much as she hated it, she’d let me. I then of course had to keep pushing the boat out and started asking every night if could smoke a joint. When she refused id wait for her to go t bed and then smoke without her knowing. Ultimatley it ruined our relationship. For a year we werent intimate, didnt have sex all because of me, i was just more interested in getting high and when I did get high I didnt want to know. She stayed with me that whole year but ultimnatley it just got to much. Im ashamed of the way i treated her and hate myself for it. I never paid her any attention and didnt even take her out for birthdays/valentines days etc. Ultimatley it got to the point where she couldnt take anymore and she said she was leaving. I was heartbroken but do you know what the stupidest thing was…. I looked at the whole situation and thought well I can get high without feeling guilty now and whenever I want. That was more important to me then saving my relationship so I let her go without even putting up a fight. Its been 2 years since she left me. Shes now with another guy and from what I hear is extrmeley happy and in love again. It doesnt surprise me, this girl was stunning and amazing in every way. Everytime think about her it makes me so sad and upset to relalise I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.
Alot of you that have read this are probabaly thinking this is more suited for a break up forum however the point im trying to make is that it was weed that caused this. Weed was more important to me then anything else including her.
Weed has isolated me from my friends and family. Im extremely lucky that I have both as I know if I ever called my friends up or my family they’d do anything for me but truth is lie to all of them about what im doing, how im feeling. I feel so low but I could never let anyone I know, know that. I dont make committments to do anything as it has to fit in with me getting lean. Ive messed up countless opportunities with girls as ive cancelled on them so I can get high or ive got high before theyve come over and then spend the entire evening staring at the TV making no sort of conversation.
Im fairly intellignet, ive got a good job and am highly thought of within my organisation however I know I have held myself back and had I not been a stoner its no doubt in my mind I would be doing even better. Alot of my friends who were also stoners are now settling down, having kids, buying houses etc. Im still stuck in on my own, still smoking daily and hating it although id never admit that to any of them. I tell them I love the single life, the not having committments, being able to do what I want. The truth is im lying to them all. I want to go out, start socialising again, meet new people maybe meet a girl who made me feel like I did once before. The problem is that one thing stands in my way and thats smoking weed. Even now from writing this, I think about going out this evening yet all I want to do is get stoned. Ive been out all day so I havnt had a joint today, its 7pm currently, but its unheard of for me to go all day without a joint. Because I havnt smoked I am literally roasting for a joint but I know as soon as ive smoked it, i’ll stub it out, and just want to smoke another and then another and then another all basically to mask the reality of being a stoned and lonely guy whos sat in on his own but too scared to do anyhing about it. I know when I smoke weed i go into a shell. Im not my funny or confident self, I avoid any form of conflict even if its light hearted amongst friends. I even avoid making phone calls as i dont like talking to people when Im stoned. Im usually very depressed and sometimes just want to cry for no reason at all. Its ruining my life and I know that but im just so scared of giving up. I havnt got the added and incredible motiavation of having an amazing girl to get me through it, im totally on my own this time and I think thats what scares me the most. I guess the fact that im on this website and actually writing this leads me to beleive that I have taken the 1st steps and can hopefully conquer this but I think its going to be a very lonely and dark path id need to tread 1st and im not sure if can do it. Im going to make every attempt I can to do this although saying that im still going to smoke the joint I rolled before I started writing this (stupid isnt it after wrting all this im still going to smoke). Im sure everyone thats been through this before can understand my logic. Hopefully I can beat this. I know it will be much harder this time but if I did it before then surely I can do it again!!!!!! Finally would be great to read comments of people who are in the same position as me. Sometimes just knowing your not alone in a problem makes it that much easier so maybe we can help each other. Ive requested help from this and other websites so I pray that it works and im strong enough to do this. I know id feel so much better come the end of it, i just dont know if I can make it that far!!!!!
Today is the day I quit. Been doing it for only 4 years but now I know what’s more important. Everything that has been said is excatly what I’ve been going thru but I have friends who’ve been holding me back. But I’m done with marjuana, drinking, pills and even smoking cigerettes so I can finally grow up and live a very good and promising for my family and most importantly myself.
dude that exactly what happened to me , ive been smoking weed since i was 13 y/o , now I`m 29 and quitting , Ive tried quiting bout 10 times , my commitment lasted between 2-6 months , and i liked being not high , finally i had dreams , i wasnt munchin all the time , but let me get to the point , this how i quit : the day before u gonna quit get rid of all the papers , bowls , bongs , and other stuff that makes u think bout weed , prepare yourself for 3 long ass days without sleep , dont drink coffee , try to exercise even for 30 minutes , do whatever to get your mind off that plant
first day is the worse , after that is all downhill , still wanna smoke ? well its all about your state of mind , try to fight it , keep saying to yourself i can quit , try to think about good stuff , the first day i stopped smoking i went on a date . that takes your mind of weed , well if that doesnt help then u r a MEGASTONER and i recommend vodka or other hard liquer , i know i doesnt sound very professional but at least u can socialize and few shots would def take ur mind of that weed . sometimes i just wish that everybody smokes weed so we dont have to struggle with that bullshit 
hope it helps
Good for you…the first step is admission..and yes marijuana does ruin relationships. The hard fact is that most all pot smokers are so far in denial about its effect and are quick to tell you how it does not do harm..but when u r on the sober end it is very disheartening
32years old been smoking for 16years… And believe me.. By the pound… quit last friday march30of 2012.god help me.. Feels like there is something missing… 2kids.. A business to run… I meed help… My email is tiagokruz@gmail.com.. Appreciate anyhelp.. T
This is hands down the goofiest piece of garbage on the internet. Grow up
That personal bubble is crippling. I’ve finally popped it though. I’ve been smoking since 15, now 22, but I’ve never been very social. I was an outcast at my school and became even more so when I started to smoke. I also used other drugs, including alcohol, which carried over into my college years.
The worst part is, I’ve always been using something to alter my mind, as a crutch for doing anything. Well it’s time for all that stuff to stop. I’ve quit weed, cigs, alcohol, kratom, everything. I even stopped getting my gun off before bed everynight. And guess what? I FEEL FUCKING GREAT! WOOOOOO!
I started smoking pot as a way to get relief for the stress in my reality. Going through a difficult divorce (live-in separation hell) at the time and wanting to be alone, pot was the perfect thing to get my mind off of it and get into a meditative state almost. I found that pot made everything better. I very quickly started doing more and more of it, despite being at a job that drug tested. Lucky for me I was only tested when I started working there and once when I was clean shortly after starting the job.
I loved smoking so much that I decided to invest in a vaporizer because it was more efficient and healthier…. and that’s when I started really going out of control because I was doing it the “smarter way”. I started smoking as soon as I got home from work, all the way until I went to bed at 2-3 in the morning, only to getup at 5:30 to start my next day. On the weekends I started smoking in the mornings. I have kids, and they were around it.. obviously because I was high all the time. I found it easier to be around them and to relate to them, and they found it easier to be around me when I was on pot because I was much more relaxed and not stressed….like I said, everything was better while high.
Being high all the time outside of work meant I had to be able to function as a normal person in society, so I began taking trips into town stoned to run errands… go shopping, get my haircut etc. etc. At first, it was difficult to go unnoticed, someone even called me out at the Walmart (where you expect anyone might be weird), but with some practice I was able to act like a normal person.
I met this attractive woman in my class at the time (going to college) and we started dating. I hid the drug use from her initially… but decided that this was going to be a permanent thing in my life, and if she was going to be a part of it, she would just have to deal with it. So I let her know, and while she objected, she accepted it. However much of a pro I was at going out on the town high (I even feel that I’d be able to get away with it if I got pulled over, never happened, but I suspect), I never wanted to be impaired while around her. So after some hot and steamy meetings with her, I would go back to my house (where my live-in separation wife was, and where I was reminded of my current hell), and I’d get high for the rest of the night.
I avoided her phone calls sometimes, especially when she called and I had just gotten lit, because she could tell I was not normal… she couldn’t ever pin-point it, but every-single time we talked and I was high, she would ask if I was alright and told me that I was “off”. I never did it around her, and always tried to make it a point to be sober or coming down when around her.
I ended up quitting pot for about 3-4 months. My current wife at the time who I had a live-in separation with for 2 years and who wouldn’t leave the house (I couldn’t leave because it would be abandonment and would lose everything) was getting nasty. She knew about the pot, and I suspected she would turn me into the cops or use it against me to take my children away. So I gave my vaporizer to a friend and quit smoking.
After much drama, she finally left… and things were looking up. But it wasn’t long until the stresses in my life started stacking up again and soon I was turning to pot so that I could enjoy life again.
My girlfriend, who I absolutely love and who has been the most supportive and caring person, didn’t know about my relapse. And this time it was different… this time I lost my motivation. I felt myself giving up on the things that would help me get out of my funk and things that could benefit me like school and looking for full time employment.
I felt horribly guilty for sabotaging myself. Absolutely. I was cursing at myself when I was reaching for it, because I knew that I was completely sober at that moment, completely clear headed, and still reaching for it. I could lose my kids, get arrested, lose my job, lose so much… and while knowing all of this fully… I got high. And then while high, because it started making me think, I would cry for 30 min to an hour, every time. Again my depression worsened and even began showing up to work high.
I ended up telling my girlfriend, and of course introduced stress into that relationship. She thought I was clean for months now, and I’ve been doing so well to improve myself and here I am risking it all. She’s asked me to flush it down the toilet, yet I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it, because I feel like that would be such a waste.
I am 3 days sober at this point and have come close to using again.
I am very upset about the decision I am about to make, because I think pot is a wonderful drug, but I cannot be trusted around it. I want to be able to use it in the future, but after reading Adams post, I could easily see that happening to me…. I am constantly trying to find my limitations with this drug in my life and relationships to the point where my behavior has become harmful to myself and to the people I love.
I have to move forward and leave pot forever.
Thanks for writing. The first couple days can be the hardest, but it is worth it!
← Previous Comments