Marijuana Addiction and Relapse - Journal Day 3
Posted by admin on November 25, 2007
I had my first marijuana addiction relapse. Well. Looks like I am back to square one….or will be when I get sober again. Dammit. 2 days is pretty shitty.
I was craving a lot this evening and wounded up guiding my evening around smoking. I made a choice at a certain point smoke, and smoke I did… I met up with people who planned to smoke, so I knew I would be exposed to it. I need to avoid those situations. I also contemplated not writing about it in the blog because I thought it might be “a one time thing”. But everyone gets to hear what really happens. If I can be honest with myself, I can kick this thing. I have learned a lot already. Addicted I am.
I did have a great time tonight. I have been on this incredible streak with women in the last month or so. I went out and was waiting at the counter when a SUPER hot girl, seriously 10/10 stunning, walked up and said she was waiting for her friend next door. I asked her is she wanted to be partners playing darts against another two, she agreed, and we played 1/2 a game of darts. We flirted mildly until she flaked out and met her friend.
She came back, as I saw her, I looked back and saw her purse. I handed it to her without saying anything. She says “You don’t want my number?” I told her I would give her mine. She said she wouldn’t call and I took hers down. I highly doubt she will answer the phone when I text/call. She is used to having power over men because of her looks, because I was nonchalant, I think she wanted to prove herself to me. I am not a person who plays women, but this is going to take some creative thinking….cause she is used to A LOT of attention.
Days Sober 0
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Tani said,
Looks like we are in the same boat! A friend came around (uninvited) and offered us some to buy, and even though we did not have enough cash we did it anyway, and smoked.
Back to day 1 again today!
At least we are not alone
admin said,
Dammit. We are both on the right track. I am undetered. I haven’t smoked today and don’t plan to. Thanks for your honesty.
cameron said,
Im trying so hard to quit, but weed is the only thing that comforts me, and its so hard Ive been smoking for ever and the thought of quiting is so out of this world I cant even fathom it. I have to start taking drug tests soon, and I am really strugling to quit. I was recently arrested for cultivation of marijuana, Im looking at a few months in jail which isnt a big deal, but while im out in the real world nothing is harder for me than not smoking pot. Everything I enjoy, I am used to enjoying with weed. And everything I do seems pointless without weed. Im stuck in a rut and I just hope to god I can get out before my first drug test. What am I going to do?
cameron said,
admin said,
What don’t you like about weed. You mentioned that you are stuck in a rut. I was too - and weed was what was causing it. There has been a cycle that I keep repeating where I hate the weed, so I stop, then I get bored, so I do it again.
Cam, you can start by really figuring out why you want to quit. This will help motivate you.
Cannot turn down the fatty said,
First of all, this blog is awesome, and exactly what I was hoping to find when I googled “How to stop smoking marijuana”. I, myself am a college student, a procrastinator and, although I have spent a relatively short time addicted, I am not going to lie, I am so so so addicted. I just love smoking weed. Problem is, my life hates that I love smoking weed. And I hate that I love it too. Right now, just the thought of it, just the thought that I want to stop, makes me want to go pack a bowl. As I said, I am a procrastinator and have been my entire life. I have become proficient at rationalizing tasks I should do promptly into things that I can do after/during my high.
Anyways, I don’t know exactly where I was going with this (Which is not surprising). I guess all I wanted to say was I want to stop, but I don’t know even where to begin and I already doubt I will be able to stop until I screw up so much that there is no choice. I will be following this blog for a long time. You said it right though, I can’t believe this is something I will have to deal with on a daily basis for the rest of my life. Unbelievable. Good Luck to everyone
admin said,
What a great comment. I totally agree that I LOVE to smoke pot, but my life hates it. I also feel the guilt and self-hate because I enjoy smoking despite the damage it causes in my personal life.
Chinese Eyes said,
Let me say that this blog is AWESOME! I have been a smoker for 3 years now and I need to quit. The funny thing is, I quit cigarettes 3 years ago but only to become addicted to weed. My friends said I wouldnt become addicted…..
Ryan said,
I’ve been smoking marijuana for about 5 years now…only been addicted for 2 of them. In high school i only smoked like once or twice a month, then in college I roomed with a dealer, and thats when the addiction really began. I have decided for a number of reasons that it is time for me to quit. It is taking over my life and i’m not the same person i used to be, nor the person i want to be. I am going to begin quitting after this weekend. So in a few days i will be going through the same things all of you are going through, and hopefully i won’t relapse. this is a great site, thank you.
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