Today I bring you a guest post from Tani. Tani was one of the first visitors on Marijuana-Addict and I am have been glad to exchange stories and information with her. I asked Tani to describe what it was like being in a relationship with a fellow smoker, and how it affected the recovery process. Here is her post Marijuana Addiction in Relationships:
I am one smoker in a relationship with another smoker.
We have quit many times during our near 10 year long relationship, twice for 6 months at a time. Usually though we quit and go back to smoking after a couple of days. The reasons for that are varied but some of them are to do with the relationship dynamic.
When in a relationship weed alters things, you are carefree and having fun when stoned, but remember all your worries and issues when withdrawing. Often one of us will feel confident to quit, but the other feels weak. The times of having coinciding strength are far and few between.
Coping with each other’s reactions to withdrawal can be difficult as well. If one is moody and withdrawn the other will often have little patience themselves to deal with it, and things can escalate where they normally would not.
If you can be strong enough to ride out the withdrawal phase (which really only seems to last a few days in terms of extreme mood changes) then the road is easier. Often I lack this patience and crave a happy conversation and will engineer for us to smoke so we can have a nice time. I do this as I hope it will give me enough strength to last out the negative time to come. It does not seem to work though.
It truly seems most effective for us, when quitting, to actually spend that time apart so we do not do too much damage to the relationship. The trick is then not to think you can go back to occasional smoking. Both times we thought we had beaten it, we went back thinking we could smoke on certain weekends, but it always escalates.
Thanks to Tani for that great post! Are you interested in writing an post about your experience? Contact me at admin@marijuana-addict.com.
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I really like what you had to say about being in a relationship with another smoker. A lot of thouse feelings I go through alone, because my boyfriend is a very stricked NON-smoker. We have dated for 8 months now and it is truly the only thing that hinders our relationshio from growing. Im not sure what to do.