Loading ...Journal Day 13
Today started off a little slow, I am not a morning person, so morning didn’t come until about 11:00 AM today. I hate getting out of bed, but am happy to be up once I make the initial effort.
I didn’t smoke any weed today but I had two major cravings, both occurred under the same circumstances. Pretty much every time I come home, the first thing I do is pee, and the second thing I do is smoke weed. This can be a trip where I am away for a couple hours, or a couple days, the routine is always the same. Go home, and get high. Since I went out and was social today, I came home twice, and both times I really wanted to smoke badly. The first craving went away after about 5 minutes, and I am working through the second one right now. I had a great evening, I went out and had dinner with great friends, then as I was walking to my place, thought about how great the evening had been, and how much better it would be if I had something to smoke to ‘finish off the night’. These are thought processes that need to change and be replaced by something more productive.
This is the second marijuana smoking trend I have identified in myself, the first being smoking with friends I meet at the pub. So, I have to keep myself busy when I first get home and no hanging out at the pub for the rest of the week. I have a feeling my house will be very clean by Friday.
I did the deep breathing exercise 2x today, and did the moving meditation relaxation technique once as well. These both helped.
Days Sober: 2
Good job on not smoking again today! Wish I could say the same… this is actually my first day to read your blog and start having realizations. Good luck and have you read any about yoga? I did yoga for sveral months a year ago and it actually gave me a natural high feeling. It relaxes, distracts, exercises, helps you breath better, and makes you feel more positive. I plan to replace my smoking with yoga one january first, my quit smoking date. Any time I feel liek smoking I am going to do yoga for 15 minutes or so until I don’t feel the craving anymore. And I think your previous post where you took a walk…that can really help. Fresh air always clears my head and makes me feel alive again. Later!
December 4th, 2007 at 11:34 pmThanks Meggers,
Totally agree. I haven’t done real yoga before, because I have been afraid of the classes!
I have done breathing and meditation work…Stretching out my unused muscles *would* be good for me though.
Are you going to taper down before January 1, or just go cold turkey.
December 5th, 2007 at 1:22 amYoga is great, I really enjoy the relaxed feeling and good feeling you get from doing it.
December 5th, 2007 at 2:24 amDon’t be afraid of the classes, most people are very accepting of each other in these places, if they are run properly. Sometimes you do need to ’shop around’ to find a place you are comfortable with.
Good job on the blog! Great theme too
I’ve been ‘quitting’ for years now… i finally decided to post my needs on a forum, but it turns out there are tons of posts with other people experiencing the same problem. I stumbled upon your post and saw the blog. Its kinda cool because i decided to finally stop smoking and we had our first ’sober’ day at the same time! So in a way.. we’re in it together! Don’t let me down now
I read an interesting analogy (same post?) about how weed is like a relationship, something you love - an emotional attachment. That really opened up my eyes, my clouded vision. I always had a hard time letting go… Its time i dump MJ, there’s been good times, but she’s not the girl for me. I need to move on.
What’s even more interesting is the idea that weed (and other addictions) is a reflection of our own selves, our character that is slowly unrestrained… like a child that isn’t disciplined. At least that how i see it. I always hear about people blaming alcohol or drugs for the trouble it created. Weed made my friend this and that… I think we’re lying to ourselves if we think it was the weed and not us - our character. Drugs only amplify what’s already deep inside. Sometimes its good, sometimes its bad, and as we all know - too much of a good thing…
This realization made me think - quitting weed isn’t only about quitting weed. Its about a total transformation of who i am. The addiction is a lens for the problems inside, yet at the same time it is an escape from the reality of that problem. It can be a vicious circle. I smoke so i don’t have to deal with it; i can’t deal with it because i smoke.
Another way to look at it is diets. People go on diets or take pills to be thin yet they won’t improve their diet or exercise. We must remember that we need to fix the problem at the root as well. After all, snipping the leaves from a weed won’t kill it; only by killing the root will one be rid of the weed.
I’ve quit for short amounts of time before. I can tell you that the first 2 weeks all i wanted to do is sleep (a LOT). After that, its as if i awoke from a lifetime of hibernation. I actually wanted to DO things! Full of energy and awareness. If i can make it past that…
Well, i was just gonna say hi, so I’ll get off the soap box
I really like the breath exercises etc that you have posted here, keep it coming! Really.
Your blog has now become my little safe-haven. Lets do this. Don’t you miss your old self? I sure do.
Namaste
December 5th, 2007 at 6:53 pmHey, admin you don’t have to takea class at all in order to enjoy trying yoga. hold up, let me find a website that may help…*searches*
ok for starters… an explaination of my favorite type of yoga. Pranayama yoga focuses on the relaxation and relaxed deep breathing.
http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/pran.html
This is the best book I have been able to find.. I own it myself, found it at Ross’s for 4 bucks! Look to see if they may still have it. If not, here it is on e-bay. this book is very detailed and have easy photos and explainations that make begining yoga easy and fun.
http://cgi.ebay.com/YOGA-Three-In-One-2006-New_W0QQitemZ320121014575QQcmdZViewItem
Even better, I found it cheaper on amazon!
http://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Three-Complete-Workout-Programs/dp/1741574161/ref=sr_1_1/105-4431987-9704415?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1183645649&sr=1-1
If my scanner was working I would just scan some of my book for you..sorry.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:57 amGive it a try guys, it will help.
By the way, not tapering before january 1st…actually going out with a bang to be honest. I will go cold turkey jan. 1st. I know I can do it with the support of this forum and yoga on my side. Later.
December 7th, 2007 at 7:00 amHey Meggers! You and I are going “cold turkey” at the same time! I was actually considering dumping my stash tonight, however, I think New Year’s makes more sense since that’s the time to make resolutions. For some reason I think quitting the habit on a major holiday will make it more serious for me (LOL). Perhaps it’s just another excuse to put it off because it scares me to kick the habit.
Let’s root for our recovery!
December 29th, 2007 at 6:55 pm