Hey Y’all,
I have been really busy in the last week. I am working on the site almost everyday, but many of the changes, you just can’t see! The week has been good – I have stuck to not smoking pot, but have drank quite a bit of booze this week, and I haven’t gone to the gym. Drinking became a reason for relapse thelast time I quit, so I need to stick away from getting drunk, and that whole bar scene.
Now that I haven’t smoked in a while, I can see clearly what my life has become, and how I am unhappy about it. I feel like I have a HUGE amount of work to do in order to achieve the life I want to live. Dope always held me back, but now I feel like I have about 10 years of work to do in 2 or 3! I haven’t had a girlfriend in about a year, don’t have a lot of friends outside of the bar, and am broke! This is better than rock bottom though, I am rising up…..and I have a girl in mind.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m not a psychologist or therapist, but…
To the casual observer, it appears that you’re swapping one mind-altering substance for another.
Having worked in the addiction recovery field, it’s quite common.
At least you realize the folly of avoiding booze, or at least drunkenness. Honestly, if you’re trying to get life on track, I firmly believe that a period of unaltered consciousness (i.e. NO mind-altering substances whatsoever. If you stay 100% clean for a period of time, you can have mental and emotional clarity to deal with whatever issues you have in life that bring about the need or desire to “get f***d up”.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, meth, PCP, LSD, Valium, or cough syrup. They all tweak your mind in some way, shape or form. Stay away from them all in order to get your life on track. At some point, perhaps you will be able to apply some moderation and enjoy a temporary altered state of consciousness.
Perhaps not.
I have a couple questions, though…
In your eyes, is drinking acceptable and smoking marijuana not acceptable simply because of the legal status of one over the other?
Why did you choose to quit smoking pot and not quit drinking?
Have you truly analyzed the unmanagibility in your life and traces it back specifically to marijuana? How are you so certain it’s not alcohol bringing these ills to fruition in your life?
Wow, I am impressed with your insight!
I would like to suggest a couple of books that might be of interest to you. No they are not books on recovery, merely books about the human experience from a spiritual/human perspective.
One is by Ram Das, “Be Here Now”. Another is by Osho, “Emotional Wellness”. (Actually any of his books are great!)Eckhart Tolle “The Power of Now”, or “A New Earth”.
If you are looking to make change, everyone finds their own path, some find meeting of AA or NA supportive because there are others who are quite similar in the fact that they too are trying to make a change in using patterns, some find Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery to suit them better as these take them through learning about the “thinking” mind and how that works.
What ever path you choose, remember the mind doesn’t like change a whole lot, so you will have to battle the mind a while or find a way to move out of your mind, and deeper into what is real…your soul! You know you are in the mind when you are beating yourself up…for instance about making up for lost time…that is the mind attempting to make you feel like shit-nothing better to get an addict back to using than feeling like shit about him/herself!
Much light and love to you on your journey!
~Cheryl
Hey,
Day 24! well done. I know that feeling of clarity you get, It’s a good feeling, but it can have the adverse effect of indeed seeing what a mess your life has become. Hang tough my friend, stay off the weed, get your shit together, get that girl, go for everything wholeheartedly and you will soon have your life back. It’s a wonderful feeling.
Sorry I haven’t posted here before – I’ve been to busy living my life! I hardly have a spare moment theses days, I’m always out and about.
Anyway, take care, I’ll try and stop by more often!
Biff.
That is an interesting question, Anonymous, why weed and not grog?
My thought would be that (and I am not the admin so I cannot speak for him, only myself) he can go for however long he wants without alcohol, but he needs weed all the time (as in he does not feel that alcohol controls his life, but weed does – so focus on the weed). Seems pretty obvious to me, but maybe you have not been reading the blog since it began like I have.
I think that you are right that all mind altering drugs/drinks need to be avoided . Having an addiction just shows that you cannot handle things in moderation so it would just be plain sensible to avoid everything!
Cheers
I have to agree with avoiding all substances would be the only way to acheive what your seeking. I myself have started drinking a bit to cure the boredom but it only provokes urges to smoke and more mood swings.
I know how you feel though, I thought that quitting smoking would answer all my problems but it really just opened my eyes to how much of a mess it made!
I’d suggest making sure your treated before bringing anyone else into your life. It doesn’t sound like you there yet. Remeber, you can’t truly love someone until you love yourself.
God bless!
I want to give up smoking grass im sick of the love /hate relationship i have with it. 20 years roughly now. wow man where did that go
I am so grateful that this site is here. I woke up a half hour ago, after making it thru “day 1″ of quitting smoking. I have been smoking pot for 12 years, 10 of those years I would consider myself an addict. I have been talking about quitting EVERY DAY for at least one year, and it is SO HARD. I was embarassed to admit that I feel addicted to weed, because it seems to be socially acceptable. I live in Colorado-it is LEGAL to have up to an ounce of weed in Denver!!!! But, it is not for me. I have been smothering myself and not allowing myself to live up to my potential for so long. Now I am 31 and not anywhere that I thought I would be at this age. It is so disappointing to wake up and realize I have wasted so much of my life. Anyway, thank you for the support, and good luck on your journey.
You seem to have what they consider “addictive personality traits” – Stop all substances, medications & just go to the gym. Why would you drink if you wanted to quit smoking?
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO ESCAPE STRESS OF SOME KIND!
STOP ALL DRINKING, SMOKING, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BLAME FOR HOW YOU ARE AND GO TO THE GYM!
Become an adrenaline junky! When you feel the need to vent, or drink, or smoke, go for a jog! Make yourself healthy, don’t trade one thing for another and don’t point fingers that quitting Marijuana caused you to become an alcoholic. It’s your own choices that you are making. Get out of your house too, stop spending time on this website, it’s obviously keeping you still inside your house instead of experiencing life and it’s grandeur.
Wow
This is my first tme visiting this site and i can’t help but identify with EVERYTHING I have read from EVERYBODY’s post. I didnt start smoking weed until I got to college. Upon the first few times I got high I wondered why I never smoked before, and why EVERYONE wasn’t doing it. I got to school and lost focus of everything I was there for. All I cared about was getting high and noticed that after some time I was surrounded by a circle of potheads. We would smoke about 15 blunts a day sometimes! The funny thing is I am only on DAY 2!! and it is Hard already. But I am mentally focused. I love smoking weed but I am not in love with the side effects and the person it has turned me into. Black lips, red eyes, spotted face, UGH!!! Its almost embarrising. Reading the comments on this site so far has given me a sense of comfort and a feeling that i can actually do this!! I am willing to hear any other suggestions or tips that can assist me on my way to full-time sobriety!! thanks new friends
Dude alcohol is worse than Marijuana… The effects of marijuana in your body ain´t that bad, but as you said… It is a psychological addiction, cause it´s really damn good. But there are better things to in life and be SOMEONE.
If you can control that addiction and not let it affect you in your daily life, then great keep toking and enjoy life. Lucky.
But if it affects your lifestyle making you unhappy then buddy…I suggest you should leave the herb.
Keep up the good work, nice site.