Posted by admin on April 14, 2008
How Do I quit smoking weed?
I slipped up again and smoked last night. This was the first relapse in a long time —-more than 3 weeks. Over the last week I had been drinking more than I normally do - well more than normal when I was smoking pot multiple times per day. I ended up having about 5 beers last night, then smoking a bowl.
I knew I didn’t *want* to smoke weed, but I decided to follow everyone out. I knew I didn’t want to smoke, but I joined the circle. I knew I didn’t want to smoke weed, but I lit up and took a puff, and held that smoke down for what felt like an eternity. The act of smoking was so a release, almost like peeing after holding it too long. For a few brief moments, I enjoyed myself.
Reality hit pretty hard, I had just broken a great sober streak, and now I felt like shit. I was stoned, paranoid, and depressed, so I went home and sat alone and stared at the wall for about an hour. When I tried to stop smoking weed in the past, every time I slipped up, I felt like it was the end of the world, sunk into a depression, and got ridiculously stoned for weeks. When I hit rock bottom, I would try to quit again.
I am always learning and learned a lot from my previous attempts to kick the habit. Somewhere in my mind, at some point, last night, I made a decision to smoke pot. I am still thinking heavily on this to see if I can find the exact point, so that I can identify and avoid it in the future. Did I get drunk to have an excuse to smoke, did I drink because I couldn’t smoke. Did I go out with friends, with the knowledge that weed would be around, and I might stumble upon it? I am still on the bandwagon, and my resolve has not changed. Last night may have made it even stronger. The guilt I felt from smoking completely ruined the experience, and I don’t want to go through all the negative feelings I get when I smoke weed.
How do I quit smoking weed? One step at a time. I had some clarity last night (amazing despite the beer and weed), it made me realize that this is a major process to undertake - and will take time. I can’t just quit smoking weed, I have to change my entire lifestyle to be substance free if I really want to succeed.
Posted by admin on March 26, 2008
Another busy and productive day today, with a good sleep last night. Last night was the first night that I had vivid dreams after quitting marijuana. The majority of the weed addicts that I know don’t recall their dreams, or have fewer dreams than non smokers. I have heard that it is pretty common to have ‘end of the world’ nightmares when quitting weed. In my previous attempts to quit, I have had some crazy nightmares.
This dream was definitely strange - and I got stoned in my dream…This doesn’t count as relapse right
. The Dream: So I was outside on the main drag of a town with my colleagues, and a bunch of them were up ahead in a circle. One woman came up to me and said something along the lines of “I smoke, but don’t tell anyone”, and joined the circle. I followed behind her, and next thing I new, I was passed a joint. This was the end of the dream as I remember it. Shitty description, but dreams are hard to describe.
One of the reasons that I wanted to quit is because I didn’t want colleagues to find out about my marijuana habit. I am sure some of them know and don’t say anything to me. Weed made me paranoid so I always wondered if they DID know.
‘Til Tomorrow - which will be double digits sober! Wooohooo!
Posted by admin on March 25, 2008
Another day without smoking pot. Today was a better day. I was extremely busy today, and did not experience any intense cannabis withdrawal symptoms. The anxiety and dread that I was feeling is definitely in recession. I know that I am only 8 days in, but I feel like the worst part of the psychological detox is past me. Now I will need to deal with sobriety on a daily basis. The physical detox will take up to 3 months for all of the fat-soluble thc to be free from my system. Only after 3 months will I consider myself ‘clean’ from weed. Clean is not the same thing as recovered!
Sleep was also better last night - I got 7 hours and only woke up once. When smoking weed, I seemed to wake up a lot more during the night. Sometimes I would even awake, smoke a roach, then head straight back to bed. It appears that marijuana makes sleep come easy, but the quality of sleep is worse than a sober sleep would be. Anyone find the same thing happening to them.
Bucking Faked requested the ability to blog on their progress. I will be configuring and opening a Marijuana Addiction Support Forum this weekend. I don’t know if it will be on this site, or on another domain…I still need to work out the logistics.
Posted by admin on March 23, 2008
When I woke up today, I felt great. After quitting marijuana for 6 days, my morning energy and mindset is improving. My mind is much clearer than a week ago! I used to smoke weed primarily at night, and it is almost a guarantee that I would fall asleep stoned or burnt out…..That seems to carry over into a mediocre sleep and a tough wakeup in the morning. My marijuana hangovers rob me of energy and a positive attitude in the morning. Sometimes my eyes looked stony, even if it had been hours.
When I take in a full breath, the top of my lungs hurt a little bit, I don’t know if that is from quitting pot, being more aware of my body, or from the exercise I have been doing in the past couple of days. Maybe they are being cleaned out.
Starting a couple of days ago, I was experiencing significant anxiety and nervousness…This hasn’t happened to me before when trying to end my marijuana addiction. I have had a very stressed out 2 weeks, so I think the marijuana withdrawal played a small role in this overall mental state.
I haven’t had any major cravings yet. In my case, those don’t start for a little while. I have stayed away from the pubs and thus the party. It is a lot easier to quit when you aren’t surrounded by it.