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Monday, January 5, 2009

Marijuana Addiction and Relapse - Journal Day 3

Posted by admin on November 25, 2007

I had my first marijuana addiction relapse.  Well.  Looks like I am back to square one….or will be when I get sober again.  Dammit.  2 days is pretty shitty.

I was craving a lot this evening and wounded up guiding my evening around smoking.  I made  a choice at a certain point smoke, and smoke I did… I met up with people who planned to smoke, so I knew I would be exposed to it.  I need to avoid those situations.  I also contemplated not writing about it in the blog because I thought it might be “a one time thing”.   But everyone gets to hear what really happens.  If I can be honest with myself, I can kick this thing.   I have learned a lot already.  Addicted I am.
I did have a great time tonight.  I have been on this incredible streak with women in the last month or so.  I went out and was waiting at the counter when a SUPER hot girl, seriously 10/10 stunning, walked up and said she was waiting for her friend next door.  I asked her is she wanted to be partners playing darts against another two, she agreed, and we played 1/2 a game of darts.  We flirted mildly until she flaked out and met her friend.

She came back, as I saw her, I looked back and saw her purse.  I handed it to her without saying anything.  She says “You don’t want my number?”  I told her I would give her mine.  She said she wouldn’t call and I took hers down.  I highly doubt she will answer the phone when I text/call.   She is used to having power over men because of her looks, because I was nonchalant, I think she wanted to prove herself to me.   I am not a person who plays women, but this is going to take some creative thinking….cause she is used to A LOT of attention.

 Days Sober 0